Re: Re: Dublin Sculptural Renaissance: The Optimistic Tortoise!

Home Forums Ireland Dublin Sculptural Renaissance: The Optimistic Tortoise! Re: Re: Dublin Sculptural Renaissance: The Optimistic Tortoise!


Naysayers, let’s step aside a moment. Remember, many of the world’s most beautiful and important structures started with a (pardon the pun) seemingly hare-brained scheme. I have done some calculations on this matter. So let’s evaluate the logistics of this Optimistic Tortoise:

Preliminary talks and meetings with the city’s most prolific developers on the building of the climbing Tortoise. Expected date of completion: December 2006.

Open competition for the design of the Optimistic Tortoise, calling for a “unique and remarkable turtle-themed landmark” design for the traffic-clogged city of Dublin: deadline: July 2007.

All 500-plus entries evaluated; winning Tortoise design announced: September 2007.

The winning Tortoise design hits a hurdle after the proposal is rejected by the planning authorities and boo-hissed by numerous civilian naysayers (dubbed “Pessimistic Hares”). Expected unveiling of amended planning scheme: January 2008

Because of the need to maintain its “slenderness ratio”, the amended Optimistic Tortoise would also be somewhat bulkier than the original proposal by two firms of architects. Tortoise re-weighing date of completion: September 2008.

Sceptical reaction from developers about the economic feasibility of the original Tortoise proposal: ongoing.

A professional team of structural engineers, quantity surveyors and mechanical and electrical engineers must then be selected to collaborate with the architects on the proposed Tortoise, which would illuminate its torpid form at night for all drivers on the M50 to see and admire. Team assembled: January 2009.

Application for section 25 status, which would enable the Tortoise developer to avail of lucrative tax reliefs to offset the capital cost. Expected approval: February 2009.

Planning permission to redevelop the Dublin mountains, including a bronze shell rising to 100 metres. Expected date of re-permission: June 2009.

Expected date of beginning construction: August 2009.

Let me close with a quote from an expert: “There is room for only one landmark Tortoise at the top of the Dublin Mountains and it has to be the U2 one… er, the Optimistic Tortoise one,” said one well-informed source.

Expected date of completion of the Optimistic Tortoise: May 2014.

Good architecture? Or just good allegory? Hmm…

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